Sunday, April 24, 2016 11:08:17 AM Australia/Sydney

Are You Addicted To Drama?

I’ve worked with many clients who are trying to extract themselves from toxic relationships. Some come to see me with one foot in the door and the other out the door.

It is possible to leave a relationship that isn’t working for you, even if you’ve been together for a long time; but you have to want to do it. No amount of hypnosis will help you if you’re not ready to let go.

If you continue to stay in a relationship that causes you pain, there may be a part of you that is addicted to the drama that comes from being with an emotionally abusive or untrustworthy partner.

This is probably due to deep subconscious conditioning, where your beliefs about healthy relationships have been shaped by your own childhood. So what you ‘think’ is a good relationship may be anything but.

For More Information, Listen To This Podcast:

(Longzijun music creation)

Don’t Confuse Drama with Love

Isabel had been on again off again with her partner for 8 years. He put her down constantly, had cheated on her several times and had no intention of committing to marriage or children, two things that Isabel wanted very much.

They had broken up and reconciled a total of 16 times (that’s twice a year) and, despite declaring their undying ‘love’ for each other, continued to go around in circles with him behaving badly and her kicking him out and then inevitably taking him back.

I asked Isabel what kept her in this relationship. She replied: ‘The sex is explosive! Plus I know deep down he really does love me’. I asked her how she could tell he loved her, and she responded: ‘Because he tells me every day!’

Firstly, good sex does not equal true love. Secondly, some people use the word ‘love’ as a tool for manipulation. If someone tells you they ‘love’ you, it doesn’t necessarily mean this is true. What do their actions tell you? Do you feel safe, cared for and supported? Or do you feel vulnerable, insecure and mistreated?

Real Relationships Aren’t Like the Movies

Have you ever been swept up in one of those movies where two people fall in love at first sight, can’t get enough of each other and have great sex for the rest of their lives?

Yeah;me too. It isn’t real. What the movies show you is so far away from real love that you might be forgiven for falling into the wrong relationship one too many times. Real relationships take hard work and sometimes the dangerous, sexy person isn’t necessarily the one you want to settle down with.

The Dalai Lama says the number one quality you should look for in a partner is kindness. You deserve to feel loved, cared for and respected. If your relationship is not giving you what you need, it may be time to get your head out of the sand.

Time to Ask the Hard Questions

What you need to ask yourself about your relationship

If you’re addicted to the drama of a bad relationship it’s time to do some serious introspection. Ask yourself:

  • What am I getting out of this relationship?
  • How do I feel most of the time when I am with this person?
  • What is the cost of staying in this relationship?
  • Do I really believe I deserve to be loved and cared for?

You may be staying in a bad relationship because of your limiting beliefs; for example, maybe you think this is as good as it gets for you or that you’re not really worthy of a normal relationship.

Whatever the case, you can let go of the old conditioning that keeps you confusing drama with love. Only then will you be ready for a real, committed, adult relationship.

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